i am 28

i am 28.yesterday was my birthday and for the first time i had no feelings about it i was not happy i was not said.i looked in the mirror and i decided i was ok.
i had an early celebration by a trip to copenhagen.well it was not just a trip it was a moment i have been waiting for for about 4 years.it was not about copenhagen it was about he guy i visited.
there was something about him that i always found fascinating from the first time i saw him at university until now really and i think he will always have his place in my heart even if we might never see each other again.he is one of the smartest persons i have ever met and he is very charismatic.well, some people have it all
we had our fist conversation in a club he was not one of the ususals, the was quite academic and very dedicated to his work but i used to go quite often to that place.then we met a few times but then the summer holliday came and we both left the country.when he kissed me good bye at he train station i thought i would die as i wanted so much more from him.anyway i had to wait until the following spring when he came back and something finally happened.we kept in touch all this time by email and i never wanted somebody as much as i wanted him.
it was the start of the summer everything was in bloom,and with just one look he made me shiver with lust.we used to go out and had long coversation over a bear and them we used to go to my place and have a bottle of vine.when he kissed me for the first time, a real steammy kiss i was wet actually before he even touched my lips.those bloody eyes....his kiss his smell...
but we did not have full sex .we had hot steaamy night but no sex i did not feel him inside me completely at all that summer.i do not even want to get into this details.and then it was over.we both left the country again, knowing we will not come back too soon.
i left behind that summer and i came to london and i met somebody else.i fell in love and things were ok but his kiss....oh my god, his kiss his body his smell stil hunted me sometimes.we emailed each other then we lost each other for months and one day i do not remember whos idea it was, we decided that i go visit him.and i visited him.i was quite nervous to see him after such a long time and there he was at the airport with those eyes...
it was a lovely weekend i enjoyed the city and i enjoyed him.although we did have sex this time i will always remember that summer of 2002 whan we shared more just because we had less to share.it was not the same but his kiss was the same and his body was just as i remembered it and i stil want to kiss every bit of him and i am ashamed to admit i feel horny when i write this things about him.it is not love that i feel it is something else but what exacly i can,t say.
i pray every day that i find somebody whos kiss will make me feel at least half as his kiss and it would be enough.
we did not make any plans of course we did not.maybe he will visit me here in london.maybe not.
i am just happy